I've thought a lot * it's been a week

A string of opinionated random thoughts

I didn’t know what to say.

I could barely grapple with my thoughts. Like many of you.

I was paralyzed by fear, disbelief, anger, frustration, rage, profound sadness, sense of loss, no room for acceptance. I went through the seven stages of grief that Wednesday. Like many of you.

I curled myself in like a snail. I couldn’t go out, suspicious and distrustful of everyone I would find in my way. I could only see traitors and no Alan Cummings in sight. It’s all a blur of days in survival mode, surrounded by gloating Karens. Like many of you.

I had created a bubble. Was that a mistake? Did I contribute to the divisiveness that brought us here? I don’t know, but I’m still too hurt and susceptible to offer the other cheek. I have many unanswered questions and will shield myself from toxicity for the foreseeable future (I may have blocked a few people or not). Like many of you.

PSA: I changed the structure a bit. I wasn’t very fond of the word Hate, after all. I think we can all use positive, small actionable steps, and I’m not here to gatekeep.

So what now?

• Keep up with your morning and night routines y’all. Harboring resentment makes one look like a corrugated carton, and our pristine Botox-free skin doesn’t deserve it.

• The experts say to find anchorage, comfort, and support within your community, so look here. We are almost 600 people. How amazing is it? Let’s stop doomscrolling and hop on here and chat. Make this a safe space of respect and refuge from what’s, at this moment, a dark unknown. Let’s lean on each other, thread lightly, with “grace and ease” like my friend Fabiana of Holistic Mind taught me to approach life.

• Be a disruptor. Let’s be frank: I want to get out of this funk, and start talking about fashion and style again without feeling frivolous or out of contest. I am not proposing going all slogan T-shirts, although RiRi’s is funny, but look what she did, she added a fierce white crocodile Bottega Veneta clutch. That is what I call The Disruptive Element in the book.

• Get fucking dressed. Even if you still don’t feel like going out, wear your diamonds, your family heirloom pearls, the most precious watch, put makeup on, pick the thing with the biggest shoulder pads in your closet, cinch a belt, wear heels, add a brooch. Remember Diana Vreeland’s

  You gotta have style. It helps you get down the stairs. It helps you get up in the morning. It's a way of life.

• Read, this is the time to dig in your piles of books. I’m currently reading this and this and this. I am that computer with a lot of tabs open, I know, but I function that way. I am intrigued by this shortlisted for the Booker Prize novel.

• Curate your own perfectly soothing soundtrack, mine’s here for ideas.

• Regain your own space. When in doubt, wear socks.

Loves

• Nippy weather

• Peptides

• Hunter green

• More foliage, less palms

• More whispering, less shouting

• A red pizza, no mozzarella, but only with the right tomato sauce.

• Jon Batiste Make Any Song Blues

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How do you say it in Italian?

Siamo alla frutta, we made it to the last course. Frutta, fruits as apples and mandarines, is usually served at the end of the meal, as a palate cleanser. I thought it was on theme.